Sat, 02/04/2012 - 01:12
Although my 30 yr husband is the most likeable person anyone has ever met (and has been quite succesful in his career), I've long suspected behind closed doors that something was "wrong" with his reactions and over-hyperness. However, it's finally clear in the past 3 months, that he has elevated to a full-blown manic eposide. In 3 short months, he has "snapped" and destroyed our lives. He has drained our life savings and racked up 35k+ in credit card debt (in Oct. '11, we had ZERO debt). He suddenly plunged into a severe pain killer addiction, which he is currently in a rehab facility for. He has become a pathological liar, enraged, paranoid, full of himself, and completely out of touch with reality. And to top it all off, my otherwise devoted, loving, loyal, and supportive best friend also has turned to prostitutes.
He is in absolute denial that he has something else going on, besides an addiction problem. His counselors and doctors are trying to get him on a mood stabalizer in rehab, but he is refusing.
We have a 2yr old son and have been together for 10 years. When is too much, too much? I am an independent, confident, educated, professional woman. I should hate him for everything he has done to me and our family, and leave immediately. Yet, it's so hard to know what to do when you are the one in these shoes. Despite it all, I love and feel we are soulmates. Am I forced to "forgive" all of these horrible things and chalk it all up to an illness he refuses to accpet help for? How do you ever move on from all of this deciept, regardless of why it happened.
This is absolutely the worst time of my life I could have imagined happening to me. When will the answer become clear?
Mon, 02/06/2012 - 13:07
#2
when to leave
I am not sure what to tell you. There looks to be a lot going on and first I feel that I should at least offer condolensces for the loss you feel. My husband and I experienced similar problems, although not that extreme (with the prostitutes and certainly we've never had that much money. but he took off with what little we did have while I was pregnant, with all the stress, I lost the baby so I have some idea of what you are going through. My husband and I are still trying although things are still stressful but I would not stay with him until he got real help but I felt as if he was so unstable that he was becoming a danger to himself and he was the one responsible for watching our 2 yr old son. What you do is ultimately up to you, right now I know that the person youve known for so long is no where in sight and that is a painful loss. Only you can decide what is right for you and your family, best wishes
My wife was recently diagnosed. After 15 years of marriage, and 3 wonderful kids, it is hard to even think of moving on. But the reality is there. Something snapped 3 months ago and has not been the same ever since. Over the course of the years I suspected something was not right. I tried to get her to see a doctor and finally she did. When she was diagnosed, she just could not accept it. Started taking meds but got off them. Currently trying to get her back on medication, but the alcohol, lying, anger is just getting worse. I've been patient many years, and I've accepeted her condition, but a line has to be drawn. Her family is also trying to help out , but she refuses and now hates anyone who is just trying to help.
Just like you I found out that she left with strangers (men) on a night during her episodes. That is the only one I know about, but Sometimes she does not come home at all and I just wonder. It is heartbreaking and you have to do what is right for you and follow your heart untill the last drop of love falls. I sounded the alarm many times, raised many red flags, and finally gave ultimatum.
Currently waiting for a meeting with her doctor about how to proceed forward. Currently just thinking of our kids and how to proceed forward, even if it means without her. It just breaks my heart.
Again. do what's right for you and your child.