Mon, 02/14/2011 - 02:25
After the birth of our 3rd child, my spouse had a complete breakdown, diagnosed as postpartum depression, but despite being on meds for 5 years, she remains very prone to erratic behavior...
Here's the thing, on a given weekend, she will be completely nasty to me and the kids, yelling at us all day, but when the phone rings and it's her extended family or friends, she snaps into performance mode and is completely pleasant... until the call ends.
Also on weekends, she will say she is exhausted and be in a coma-like sleep for 15 hours with migraine-like symptoms, but if there is a sale she wants to go to, miraculously, she finds a way to get up and out the door at 6AM.
She is using her illness to control the family, but is this common or rare in true bipolar sufferers. I want to get her help, and at this point if she can be pleasant all day with her friends, on demand, I want her to be pleasant to the kids and me then, too.
I am near the end of my patience in having the stepford spouse be so awesome to her friends and so crappy to our immediate family. the kids deserve the best face she can put on, not the worst. Please share your feedback.
Sat, 04/09/2011 - 15:34
#2
For me it is all about
For me it is all about triggers. With my family for some reason I am stressed and that triggers negative emotions. The negative emotions take control and I find myself unable to control the anger, rage and pure meaness that comes out of me. Other times when something positive happens, like friends or a movie, etc. it triggers positive emotions. Even these emotions can get out of control and I find myself over responding with happiness or excitement, in other words, typical mania. At other times depression takes over and I can't function at all, no matter how bad I am trying to get over it. The thing is, from the outside it looks like this is me just acting like a jerk whenever I want to, but the reality is, I can't control this. I am ashamed at my behavior sometimes, and wish I had more control. With all the pills I take. I am just grateful it is not worse. Yes, people do fake and take advantage of others, but people with bipolar need most is some leeway and the benefit of the doubt.
Tue, 03/22/2011 - 08:58
#3
same symptoms
I was pretty much diagnosed the same way, after the birth of my 3rd kid i had post partem depression and from there it just continually got worse, now i have bi polar and am affected alot in the ways that your wife is, and yes it is that easy to turn from monster to sweetheart, my husband and children go through the same thing, not that i'm proud of it and not that i do it on purpose, most the time i dont even realize i do it, i'm a hospice nurse and am very kind to my patients but am ignorant t my husband, we are now in the process of divorce and most of it is related to me, i'm gettin help now and maybe you can get your wife to see what she is doing, but i will warn you dont do it when she is manic, it wont work, she will only get mad....good luck to you both.
Thu, 03/03/2011 - 00:05
#4
My partner is not diagnosed
My partner is not diagnosed with any mental illness but believe them to have been treated in the past and they control out lives in similar ways: by refusing to do anything for anybody else, by refusing to do anything asked, by having tantrums when a refused request is repeated, by dragging the duvet around the house all day shifting between bed and sofa, by refusing to go out with me, by belitteling myself and my kids, by going to work at 3am to miss the traffic and waking us up, by waking us up at midnight to say they cant sleep in the same house as us and they are going to work to sleep in the office, but hey when they want to they can go out and do what they want; meals with friends; holidays; walks. I cant tell if they are ill or just hate us and enjoy torturing us. Alas gone are the days when out GP will talk about another family memberr because of Data Protection so we have to endure
Tue, 02/15/2011 - 02:56
#5
i have bipolar and all i can
i have bipolar and all i can say is i am unable to control my emotions that way. my meds help me to stay calm but when they are not working i am on a roller coster ride and am along just for the ride. i is like i am on the outside looking in and unable to stop it. there are trigger factors but still i know i can't turn the switch on and off like that. but it dose sound like she needs help and that is the hardest part. getting her to adment she needs help. it took me a long time to adment it.
I'd hate to say it but if she can suddenly break out of a depression to go shopping, I highly doubt she is bipolar. I could see how she could fake being happy on the phone for a few minutes but the shopping thing is weird. Maybe your wife is suffering from a mood disorder but there is a possibility that its something other than bipolar. I'd encourage you to read up on Borderline Personality Disorder and see if that fits